A Change Has Come
If you’ve been following me for awhile, you’ll note a change, here. Yeah, the blog’s been updated. Moved from Wordpress to Squarespace. Not a commercial for them, but I’m pretty happy with the switch, with the workings behind the place I’ve got going on. Looks cleaner, works cleaner. I used those sleepless nights of late to tinker with the thing and came out the other end feeling pretty fucking good. I decided to simply start over rather than import my posts from the old platform, though. Needed a clean slate, change.
Been loading up on the Super Bowl snackage for the past few hours. Got my belly full, so I had to collapse into the futon for a nap. Really showing my age, needing a nap after every meal. And, although I’ve professed to losing so much sleep, anymore, although that fatigue catches up to me, gets me at some point, most days, even at my best I’m needing a nap after loading up. Was too exhausted to bother with the CPAP mask, however, and drifted into Nod without; the result was finally waking with difficulty, feeling like I was being choked out. Took me a few minutes to pull myself together, pull myself up and off the mattress, taking with me a dull headache reminiscent of a hangover and- The dreams I dream, lately – they’re nuts. They eventually got wicked violent, but – somewhere along the road – they turned oddly romantic and often disturbingly heart-wrenching, bringing long-passed loved ones back for a redux in some way or introducing me to new adventures with new faces I’ve no business being associated with. Young blonde women exhibiting way too much affection for somebody like me, someone tipping into the elderly, though I imagine that, in dreams, I’m not always me, exactly, either. There’s that.
I had to step away from the game, get out of the room and to seclusion. “You’re having a crisis,” I muttered to myself, noting the shakes, noting my increased discomfort in general as well as- Annoyance. At what, who’s to say. I might’ve forgotten my bipolar meds. All the meds. I’m not feeling so great. The commercials were mostly irking me, the plays were doing the same. So I got away from there and back to my room.
Never did finish listening to my newest record purchase. Ordered a “greatest hits” album from Sam The Sham And The Pharaohs, the other day; it arrived this afternoon and I promptly – joyfully – spun it onto my phonograph. The food was ready by the time the first side of the second disc was done, though, and I went off to eat and, getting back, I just wasn’t in the mood for it.
I just missed the halftime show. I’m getting notifications onscreen that it was “dogshit”, anyway, so I guess I missed nothing? Shrug. I literally feel like I’ve been beaten. Really, all I want is to go to bed.